It Ain't Summer 'Til the First Shark Bites!

Yup. Summer is here. Hot dogs, girls in skimpy clothes, convertible tops down...and sharks gnawing on... girls in skimpy clothes. And the cool part is, you don't even have to spend money to rent the "Jaws" DVD, 'cause you can get "all shark, all the time" on any handy national news network...or on your local news - even if you local news is in Helena, Montana, where shark attacks are, according to sheriff's deputies, "infrequent."

Yes sir. This is BIG NEWS people. And I'm sure we can look forward to at least a week of NATIONAL NEWS coverage of the couple who were noshed on by a cranky grizzly.

Oh, and the lady who owned the savage dog is getting her fifteen minutes.

But wait. News flash! Warhol was wrong! It ain't a 15 measly minutes. Even the most ridiculous little snake bite warrants at least 15 days of inbridled glee from the purveyors of news in our nation. The fifth estate, all anxious to take that term literally, move into their McMansions and live off their celebrity.

But the the really scary news is not about what lies lurking just below the surface of the ocean. The really scary news is out there for all to see. When Judith Miller (and all of us, by extension) got it upside the head from the Supreme Court, because she actually tried to do "real news," it became crystal clear that we have entered a new era, a journalistic ice age which will not just chill those who have our best interests at heart, but will freeze them solid.