Flag Buring? Don't stop there!

It's a real pleasure to know that the US House of Representatives as, once again, approved a flag burning amendment. During a time when our nation is at war, and young men and women are being blown to bits in Iraq, this is what amounts to important legislation in our great nation.

Of course, the burning of the flag has been just rampant in recent years. Heck, you can't hardly walk down the street or turn a corner without seeing some nitwit torching the stars and stripes. The toxic smoke alone has created a new pollution threat (which the Administration believes will be dealt with by flag-burners voluntarily agreeing to use scrubbers) And it really pisses me off. Speaking of which...

If we're going to protect the flag, why stop at burning? I believe the House hasn't gone far enough. This must be a much more far-reaching bill, which I would title; The 2005 Omnibus United States Flag Anti-Desecration By Any Means Bill. It wouldn't stop at burning, but would include peeing on the flag, spitting on the flag, giving the finger to the flag, using the flag as a hamster cage liner and worst of all, blowing your nose on the flag. THIS is the admendment we need, not the weakass one that's been passed on to the Senate.

Oh, one more note. I also included a provision in the bill that bans its use as a symbol of craven politics. This includes any attempt to "create diminutive representations of the "grand old flag," which might be used a tacky adornment on one's clothing."